The Fruits of Contemplative Wisdom
It occurred to me that teaching your kids about life has a certain zen wisdom. This evening, I found myself saying to my 11 month-old son - "Not everything is stable. Some things move."
Phineas and I were sitting on the floor of the living room and he was crawling around me, climbing up on me and everything around me. His highchair, with wheels, was in the corner near us. So he crawled over, planted his hands firmly on the base and started trying to stand up from there. Well, of course the chair moved and he suddenly was back on his bum with a little bit of a thud. I watched him to see his reaction... he looked at the chair and then turned his head around to observe me... like, 'what the hell just happened here?' And out popped that little koan like I was some buddhist monk with years of contemplative wisdom piled up - just ready to coin thoughtful phrases... But you know, maybe he got it. He looked like that explanation satisfied him, because he just moved on, looking for something else.
I realize this post isn't about photography. It seems like not much is about photography these days. I am working on my latest project - slowly. But it has such incredible promise from the images I've put together so far. It just feels like time is moving so quickly and there are only so few things I can accomplish in one day. Work - my professional career - takes up a large, very large piece of my day. And a very large piece of my brain too. During the week, I get few hours with my son - so my morning and evening hours are focused on being with him, playing with him, seeing how he's grown, worrying over what I should be doing for him, thinking about his future and trying to plan for it - even if it's just making sure he has clean nails and clothes for the next day. And then after most of the whole day is done, I get some time to spend with my husband. I make dinner and we eat together, have a glass of wine, watch something we've recorded like Countdown or the Tour or some movie that we've been dying to see since it came out in the theaters. And that's it. The day is done.
It's hard to cram creativity into the few empty crevices I have left in my day. It's like I have a packed suitcase, but there's a little pocket here and there where maybe something could fit if I just rolled up it smaller and stuffed it in there.
But that's where I am. Not everything is stable. Some things move.
Phineas and I were sitting on the floor of the living room and he was crawling around me, climbing up on me and everything around me. His highchair, with wheels, was in the corner near us. So he crawled over, planted his hands firmly on the base and started trying to stand up from there. Well, of course the chair moved and he suddenly was back on his bum with a little bit of a thud. I watched him to see his reaction... he looked at the chair and then turned his head around to observe me... like, 'what the hell just happened here?' And out popped that little koan like I was some buddhist monk with years of contemplative wisdom piled up - just ready to coin thoughtful phrases... But you know, maybe he got it. He looked like that explanation satisfied him, because he just moved on, looking for something else.
I realize this post isn't about photography. It seems like not much is about photography these days. I am working on my latest project - slowly. But it has such incredible promise from the images I've put together so far. It just feels like time is moving so quickly and there are only so few things I can accomplish in one day. Work - my professional career - takes up a large, very large piece of my day. And a very large piece of my brain too. During the week, I get few hours with my son - so my morning and evening hours are focused on being with him, playing with him, seeing how he's grown, worrying over what I should be doing for him, thinking about his future and trying to plan for it - even if it's just making sure he has clean nails and clothes for the next day. And then after most of the whole day is done, I get some time to spend with my husband. I make dinner and we eat together, have a glass of wine, watch something we've recorded like Countdown or the Tour or some movie that we've been dying to see since it came out in the theaters. And that's it. The day is done.
It's hard to cram creativity into the few empty crevices I have left in my day. It's like I have a packed suitcase, but there's a little pocket here and there where maybe something could fit if I just rolled up it smaller and stuffed it in there.
But that's where I am. Not everything is stable. Some things move.
posted by bridget at
9:52 PM
2 Comments
